Home of the Fitness Insane!!!!!

Jester says:

The Real Spartan Dumbbells of Hillsborough County

[TURDY] Hey Fitty, whassup?

[FITTY] Nuttin, just here enjoying the toasty weather, it’s nice to be malleable for a change.

[TURDY] Well, at least someone’s happy, I’ve had enough of this place. I think I’m gonna split.

[FITTY] Huh? Is your brain going rusty?! Why? Where to?

[TURDY] Why? Look at us, man! We didn’t use to be treated like this! This is 2010! Look at how they have us all segregated now. I mean, sure they used to have the little designated number signs before, but nobody really paid attention to those. So long as you minded your own business you could be hanging out anywhere from up front with Two-pint all the way up to FourScore’s place. And why’d they have to take away our cribs too? Now they want us to live down on the pavement! No racks, no friends… nuthin!

[FITTY] Oh, c’mon, it’s not that bad-

[TURDY] Not that bad?? Didn’t you see what the karate krew tried to do to Jester? He’s all into his WOD and they tried to pop him with a water balloon! Good thing these black belts can’t aim to-

[FITTY] WHOOAAAHHH!!! ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO GO THERE??!! You’re gonna bad mouth over a dozen zealous black belts right on their home turf???

[TURDY] Uh, uhh… no, I mean, good thing those black belts can’t aim to- uh, hit him, uh, because they were so tired from the agoge… yeah, that’s it. But any other day they’d have hit him right on the temple. And any other human, no, any other athlete would be in ICU after what they went through. There, do you think I fixed it Fitty?

[FITTY] I dunno. Maybe. For your sake, let’s hope so. Anyhow, back to us dumbbells, look at how clean we look-

[TURDY] Oh, sure, that’s easy for you to say. You’re only what… two or three stories high. I’m up here at the top of the pyramid projects. SEVEN STORIES bro! What do you think my homies on the ground floor have coming for them?? NUTHIN! NUTHIN MAN! Who in their right mind is gonna go offerin any one of them down there an opportunity to work somethin out? And meanwhile, I’m up here ridin on their shoulders! Gettin picked for everythin’.

[FITTY] Listen Turdy, we all have to pay our dues. I was right there myself in my day.

[TURDY] Naw man, naw. This ain’t right. We all dream of gettin a lot of work and all dat, but this ain’t what I had in mind dawg. All these nasty dudes with sweaty palms dripping salty-chalk-milk on me… dumping me all over the place (though I used my knurls on the last clown that tried that and ripped him a new callus) and not having the decency to give me a ride back home… I’m tired of this. I’m going to Scurves or Ballyhoos.

[FITTY] Say what??!! Those places??! C’mon, you know what they say, the chrome is always shinier on the other side.

[TURDY] Fitty, I’m just tired… look, manmakers, db push presses, renegade rows… and who do they come to? Me! And the minute something fun comes up, like swings… they all flock to the cute shiny curvy Kettle Belles… Oh, and by the way, why aren’t THEY down on the street? They too good to live like we do?? Fraid they’ll scrape their powder-coated botoxed finish off?

[FITTY] Look Turdy, all I’m saying is think about it… I guarantee you, you will not like Scurves-

[TURDY] Why not??!! I’m told it’s a constant 70 degrees in there! Everybody’s hands smell like smoothies! And-

[FITTY] You wouldn’t work a day in there.

[TURDY] Huh? Why not?

[FITTY] 30 is way too much for them.

[TURDY] Whaddya mean? Don’t tell me they’re COUGARS ??!!

[FITTY] Of the worst kind… those ladies don’t touch anything over 15…

[TURDY] WHATTT??!! How is that legal??

[FITTY] Are you kiddin? That’s no man’s land. No self-respecting cop would be seen within 100 yards of that dump. That’s why I love this place. Even at 50 the ladies still check me out here.

[TURDY] Wow, you’re rusty, but I guess you’re right. Hey, do you think we can go hang out with the Kettle Belles later on?

[FITTY] No way rugrat. The BuckTen twins have set up camp right by their door. They’d crush you if you tried anything… have you wishing you were the rear rotors of a 95 Kia.

[TURDY] Gotcha. Thanks for the heads up old timer. Remind me to get you a magnetic card for your birthday.

Ironhead says:

Hm…that’s a novel approach. Having ‘no comment’. Gonna give it a try! No comment!

Lolo says:

I’m going to secretly miss the 6 p.m. class and I may cry by myself in a dark corner. What if the 7 p.m. class isn’t nice to Lolo? What then?

Katie Bug says:

lol you do Grandpa…

Master Diaz and Master Jess..awesome fight class today–thanks for the much needed water balloon fight

Ironhead says:

Okay, waited long enough on my self-imposed ‘No comment-ness’!

Must say, KariD and JMo…you rocked the WOD last night. Very impressed!

dru says:

sean said I should leave a comment. So, I dont care that I was almost dead last, I didn’t modify anything! booya see all tonight.